Tuesday, April 12

looking and seeing

I parked by the trees today.

There's this parking lot on the edge of campus that not many people use.  I pulled my car into the sunshine, tilted my head back and saw sun spots dance before my eyes.

There's a line in Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence that I can't get out of my head.  Newland says to Ellen:
“It's you who are telling me; opening my eyes to things I'd looked at so long that I'd ceased to see them.”
That's what I feel like with my life sometimes.

I get so used to the good things that surround me, I forget what they look like.  I stop seeing them for how good they really are, and my vision flattens to gray scale.  Sometimes I forget to see how truly beautiful and complex  life really is.

And then I have like today, where I can almost feel the air in my lungs.

The very act of living feels like symphony of grace.

The lines of life are sharper, my friend's hugs are tighter, the horizon spreads out before me like a promise. 

My classes seem like a brilliant adventure and not a dreaded obligation.  I am going to school for something I love and believe in.  Not everyone is so lucky.  I find myself sitting across the table from clients at work and I can't stop grinning.

Not because my life is easy or painless but because God is so very good to me.  Beyond cliches and church pews and empty statements from people who don't weigh their words- I am blessed and grateful and humble.  And sitting in the sunshine today, playing with the hem of my dress, I couldn't help but feel a gentle wave of contentment.

Thank you, God.  For your life- which saved mine.  For my life- which is just a blink.  For everything that I can't explain.  For how the trees are always reaching toward you.  May I do the same.

We are miracles.
Each and every one of us.

There's a season and a purpose and a song in our lives.  Our days are threaded with complexity and beauty and hopefulness that cannot be stolen or traded, only overlooked.

Take a minute to park by the trees and walk a little farther than normal.

Don't let those things go unnoticed in the rush and chaos of life.  Our senses cripple us sometimes, causing us only to rely on what we see and feel and can wrap our arms around.

And yet, we miss so much this way.

Some of the best things in life cannot be measured or felt with the strength of our hands, but seen by the eyes of our hearts.

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