Wednesday, February 2

a retrospect

With my free day off, I cleaned today.  In the middle of reorganizing of my stuff, I found an old single subject notebook.

I flipped open the first page.

December 12th, 2006 is scrawled in the upper right hand corner.

I was barely 16.  It seems like another lifetime ago.  In between the lines lived a much younger version of myself- more hopeful, more naive, and yet braver in a way that I envy.

I used to be so much fire per square inch, ready to explode and take on the world.  That explosive, in-your-face part of me has gotten more tame, in a good way.

But the dreaming part- the yearning, going, dancing-in-tall-grass-part has stayed the same.

I think it always will.

(Here's a glimpse into my 16-year-old dreams.  Don't judge too harshly :)

100 things I want to do before I die

  1. write a book
  2. go skydiving
  3. visit London
  4. pay for someone else’s groceries
  5. learn sign language
  6. read the entire Bible
  7. see New York
  8. build a house for someone else  6/30/06
  9. finish a half-marathon
  10.  see the Northern Lights 7/20/2011
  11.  take professional photographs  2008
  12.  see a solar eclipse  1/4/11
  13.  finish Les Miserables
  14.   swim in the Atlantic Ocean  7/16/10
  15.   learn to surf
  16.   go on a roadtrip 
  17.   learn to drive a stick shift
  18.   sponsor a child
  19.   go horseback riding  4/25/2008
  20.   stand under a waterfall  8/12/09
  21.   take a college class  8/28/08
  22.   plant a sunflower garden  4/30/10
  23.   be in a protest  9/1/09
  24.   journal everyday for a year
  25.   donate my hair  6/1/07
  26.   go on a hot air balloon
  27.   take a pottery class
  28.   give away something valuable to someone who wouldn’t dream of asking for it
  29.   attend a musical  10/16/10
  30.   volunteer at Hopeline 2012
  31.   see the Statue of Liberty
  32.   be in a poetry reading  4/16/2008, 4/17/2009, 4/18/2010, 7/29/10
  33.   go camping 9/1/2012
  34.   learn to play the guitar 2012
  35.   go on a mission’s trip  2006, 2010, 2012
  36.   get rid of the word “can’t” for 48 hours
  37.   be able to fix my own car
  38.   go white water rafting  7/6/2006
  39.   teach a class about writing  12/6/2010
  40.   see a drive-in movie
  41.   drive without a destination
  42.   help a stranger anonymously
  43.   write a play  4/16/2010, 12/2/2010
  44.   live without electronics for 6 months
  45.   learn to play poker  1/27/11
  46.   go to a Carole King concert
  47.   meet a government leader
  48.   have dreadlocks
  49.   see all 50 states
  50.   learn to cook  7/10/10
  51.   live abroad for a year
  52.   write a memoir
  53.   do something that seems absolutely impossible
  54.   learn to skateboard  7/25/2010
  55.   go without makeup for a month  1/2011
  56.   visit a lighthouse
  57.   take a day of silence for something that matters
  58.   keep a blog  9/6/2010
  59.   go to a music festival
  60.   visit an Amish community
  61.   be in an intentional homeless community project
  62.   learn about the constellations
  63.   go to Australia with TWLOHA
  64.   climb a fourteener
  65.   be passionate about a non-profit 2012
  66.   get a B.A. in English (yee! 12/2012)
  67.   take a photo everyday for a year
  68.   fly a plane
To dream recklessly- that's what's on my heart today.  To seize life instead of watching it pass by.  To know when to speak and when to listen.  To be relentlessly loving.  To know when to jump.  To be awake and alive.  To hold kite strings to the sky.  That's what I want.

1 comment:

amyellison said...

I love reading your blog, friend. Can you believe how many of your list items you have already crossed out in only four years?! At this rate you'll have to make a new list before you hit 40. The only one that surprised me (and made me smile) was the dreadlocks. I've wondered myself what it would be like to have dreadlocks... just not enough to actually do it. =) And have you never been camping? This si one of your goals I wouldn't mind helping you tackle. But as for the skydiving, you're on your own ;)