It has been awhile. I've been taking some time to be silent. To talk to God again. To tell Him about what's going on inside of me. And to tell other people, too. The blog has been on the backburner as other areas of my life have been taking some heat.
I've moved 6 times within the past year and a half; it has been a scattering experience. My stuff is everywhere and nowhere all at once. I've lost things and found things and forgotten things and I'm at the point where I just don't care.
I'm starting to realize what I truly need to live, and it's not my copy of A Tale of Two Cities, or the pictures that used to hang in my room, any of my clothes, or any of my stuff. That doesn't make my life.
It's my worn-out Bible and the words of good friends.
It's the richness of laughter and the purpose that comes from doing something that matters. It's God and His love and the way He never leaves me. That's really all I need to live.
And all the things I used to carry with me? They don't matter so much.
I guess I've been learning to travel light. The things you really need can't be packed. And the things that make you feel heavy aren't really worth carrying.
You can go place to place and pack up all your memories, regrets, fears, and pain but it's not worth it. Believe me, I've done it. And it's absolutely exhausting. Lay down the heavy things, friend. It's so much easier to be free.
"We all have our past. We all have our pain. We will all know ghosts from time to time. But if our life is like a building, then we should open our doors to let some people see inside. And into our darkest places - into those rooms that hold our fears and dreams - we will begin to walk together. Friends with hope like candles, telling ghosts to go." -Jamie Tworkowski
There is more I could say, but I'll end soon. I think we're all on a journey of finding out who we are and why we're here. This journey is crazy, painful, wonderful, and passionate--but going forward, not falling back--is the only way to live. As you go forward, I pray you find friends right beside you who help you travel light and lay down your burdens. I hope you learn how to walk, and run wildly, and climb gently over jagged cracks along the way.
Let people in on the journey. Invite them alongside you and come alongside them. It's not about not stumbling, but learning to find your way. And you'll find it, friend. I know you will.
Grace to you tonight, wherever the journey leads.