silence and patience and grace

There has been some silence on this end of the world.

I'm knee deep in books and paperwork and other people's theses.  I've calculated that I'm spending over 50 hours on campus in a five day week.  That's over two days straight.  If we take out 8 hours a day for sleep (haha like that actually happens), that leaves about 30 hours left, or 6 hours per day.  One for devotions.  Four for homework. Half an hour for food. Half for a shower.

I don't say all of that to complain, I promise.  I'm blessed to be going to college, studying what I love, and being around people I love while doing so.

I was thinking last night that it's easy to get lost in the destination- to get so focused on being someplace else, you miss out on the getting there.  I don't want to miss out on the getting there.  The highway, the journey, the getting lost and taking the long way- that's okay.  That's what you're supposed to do.  It's finding your way.

I feel like there's this theme of expectations for people my age- to hurry up and finish high school to get to college.  To hurry up and finish college to get a job.  To get a better job to buy a house, or get married, or whatever.  It's this crazy checklist that causes stress and chaos and at the end of it...you're not the same person you started out as.  It's not life-giving.  It's not success.  Being busy isn't success- it's not a badge of achievement or a crown of honor.  I've been guilty of wearing it as such before, but I've been trying to do things differently lately; to let the things in my life that need to gather dust, gather dust, and to take the things that are important and get lost in the living.

‎"Now is your time. Become, believe, try. Walk closely with people you love, and with other people who believe that God is very good and life is a grand adventure." -Shauna Niequist

A few months ago, I prayed my heart out that God would make me content with where He's put me.  And with some silence, patience, and grace- I think I'm finally getting there.  Don't miss out on the getting there, sweet friends.  God sees you.  He knows where you are.  I believe that in the silence of those crazy moments of aching transition and deep need, God tenderly wraps His arms around us and points us in the direction of home.