Tuesday, December 28

Three hundred and sixty-five days.

A year has gone by.

A year ago tomorrow I was praying about going to Virginia.
A year ago the day after tomorrow I signed up.

But I never expected this. 

I planned and had expectations, but what God did this year was amazing.

The truth is that this year has been the hardest, most wonderful year of my life.  To face sickness, tragedy, and depression.  To stand before God at a loss of what to even say to Him and to have Him love me in the midst of it.  To learn the hard way that His arms are strong and capable of carrying me home.  Words don't cover things like this.  And then to leap- to go to Virginia.  My time there was sweet and shaking and purposeful.  To learn about eternity.  To fall in love with people from every other nation other than my own.  To tell people about our God- to care about them and the smallest details of their lives- it felt like flying.  To have that kind of a summer follow that kind of a winter felt like a promise coming true.  And then, to come back to campus with a new job and a different perspective.  To relearn faithfulness in the small things.  To grow again.  I never expected my life to change so much in one year.  My goals, my dreams, my heart, my approach to God, to people, to life, even.  To redefine success.  To redefine love.  To redefine friendship.  To watch all of these things change and shift before my eyes has been incredible; it's all too much to wrap my mind around.

I can't help but imagine fifty years from now tracing back through my memories and saying- I remember that year.  That was when everything changed.

To remember loss and the sound of the ocean.  jet noise and a room full of students.  guitar strings.  pencil meets paper.  bright smiles.  salt and rain and bright stars on sandy beaches.  snow and anchors and breaking.  That year was the beginning.

I don't know what comes next, friends.  I face pages yet to be written.  There's a sad sweetness for the past and exciting anticipation for the future, and a deep rooted faitfulness for what's right now.  I'm excited and ready for risking and jumping and flying again- whatever that looks like, whenever it comes.  whatever the next three hundred and sixty-five days may hold. selah.

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