life together

Lightness.

That's what I was thinking about when I woke up yesterday, tangled in covers, sun pouring in through the windows.

Over a month ago, I moved in with a dear friend.  And my life has been altered, right down to its very fabric, in so many good ways.  Our schedules are crazy and our mood swings are hilarious but it is lightness, every single second.

Maybe it's because I've spent the majority of my college years commuting to campus and (yes, I-love-you-don't-judge-me) living with my parents BUT living with someone is bigger than I expected it to be.  It's more than just fun.  I mean, yes, it's ridiculously fun.  We dance around and do cartoon impressions and last week she left a fake rat on my bed.  I can't count the number of times I've laughed until I cried, literally, sitting on the floor with tears down my cheeks.

When you live life with someone, you really live it with them.  There's something distinctly special, even spiritual, about sharing life together.  Having someone witness your life, encourage your dreams, call you out on your crap, and love you just as you are.

Until you get to have that, no words of mine can describe it.  And after you've had it, you realize that life alone...isn't really life at all.  It's no fun thinking of only yourself all the time, being by yourself all the time, you, you, you, all the time.

We need people to live life with.  And even if you don't have a roommate, I hope you have that.  I hope you have people willing to walk alongside you.

Because I am in the middle of it, and it's priceless and valuable.  It's just a season of life, and the winds of change will blow in something else, something different.  But this chapter, this season, it is and was and will be one of my favorite.

Dear friend, I am genuinely happy.  With my life and with the people in it and all the good things I've been given.  I hope you are, too.

I hope that when the winds of change find you, you realize that you have someone beside you.  That you hold onto God with both of your hands and tie down your dreams with His words and link arms with some beautiful friends.  Sometimes the winds blow in things we don't expect, and sometimes they blow in exactly what we need.

the beginning

It started in a borrowed basement, in a borrowed house, filled with strangers.

Strangers that would be friends.

People filed in, excited voices and young hands, ready to do something earth-shattering.  Little did we know, it would be earth-shattering, but not because of us or anything we could do.

As a shy sophomore, I usually shrank away from everyone else.  But not this time.

I was magnetically drawn to these people; they had something that I wanted.  A spark, a beauty about them.  I found out that they were believers.  And they wanted to love people.  They had this idea of sharing life together- in laughter and heartache and questions without answers.

They had this weird idea that God loved us.  And although I knew it was true, I had a hard time believing it, most days.  I started believing it though- and really living like I believed it- and somewhere down the line, I changed.  And I started sharing this idea that God loves us.  And more people started to come.  And more people started to change.

It started in a borrowed basement, in a borrowed house, filled with strangers.  It started with a handful of dreamers.  It started with the spark of a thought- that God does exist and that He loves us more than we know.

And then it exploded.

And two years later, we meet again- except this time, we've outgrown the basement.  The winds of change have equally carried people away and blown others to us.  But we are the same.

We are living for something bigger than ourselves.

For God and

for love.

Because both are the same.

What started with a mismatched plan and some searching college students, ended with Jesus.  Ended with a movement that keeps on moving- even as I graduate.

With full eyes, I look back at the beginning of the story.  The beginning with an ending that is still being written.  I never would have guessed the way that CRU's community would impact my life- or the way that God would collide with my heart.  I never would have guessed the ways that I'd be changed.

But I was changed.

I have been.

I am.

And oh, friend.  This is only the beginning.

so do that.

The page is blank.

He asks me if I could share anything with the world, what would it be?

The page is blank.

The summer was gone.  And with it, so was my courage.
But I couldn't shake his question.

If I could share anything with the world,
it would be the same thing it has always been:
stories.

Stories of risk and courage and passion.
Stories about people and living.
These things have always lived in my heart.

I found God in stories, so many years ago.  It changed me deeply, forever, in a way that even I can't put into words.  And it's still changing me.

My hope is that you might find God in the same way I did.
In really hard conversations.
In an incredibly beautiful, endless ocean.
In singing at the top of my lungs.
In living for something bigger than myself.
In sharing stories that are triumphantly hopeful.

So do that, he says, with great conviction.  Go write.  I laugh lightheartedly because it's not that simple.  I can't just open up my heart and share my passion with the whole world.

Start a blog.  Just try it.  Instantly I turn into the Queen of Sass.
Yeah, great idea.  What's that going to do?
Ab. so. lutely. nothing.

Weeks go by.
The page is blank.

And then, one day, it isn't.
The words that live in my heart show up like an old friend.
And so, I jump.  I make a blog and share them.

A year later, words keep coming.
They have led me to places and friendships I've never dreamed of.
And I find you here, in the stories and in the living.

dear friend,
if you could share anything with the world, what would it be?

Your dreams, your stories, your passion, your art-
it matters and it is needed.

Whatever it is, however silly and small it feels,
with great conviction I say
so do that.


I did.  This one year of sharing words with you-
it has changed my life in so many good ways.

The things that live in our hearts matter.  Our stories matter.
So tell them.  Sing them.
Write them.  Draw them.
Live them.  Go live.

PS- This post is dedicated to my incredible brother, Ben.  Without his friendship, I would not be the same.  Dear friend Ben, keep loving people.  It matters more than you know.