less and more

A dear friend posted an entry on the roles we play and the different facets of our personalities.  It inspired me and got me thinking.

Who am I?

Ask ten people in my life and they will give you ten different answers.

I am Elizabeth.  person.  daughter.  aunt.  student.  learner.  lover of language.  worker.  writer.  reader.  tutor.  grammarian.  friend.  listener.  talker, too.  helper.  goofy dancer.  letter writer.  volunteer.

And yet-  

I am not what I do.

 

Take away all of my responsibilities, and I am not valuable because of how much I can accomplish.  I am not valuable because of how much (or little) I benefit other people.

I am not the sum of forward motion.  I am so much more than words on paper, the numbers of my GPA, the amount of errands I can run.  Push all of the pieces together, and something is still missing.

I am valuable because I exist.

That's it.

I was created with love by a Creator and that alone is enough.

Everything else...it's just extra.  I think it's so easy to get caught up in this dance, especially for women.  We play so many roles that it's easy to forget the only one that matters.

I spend so much of my time asking myself things like- Should I have said that?
Should I have done more?  Should I have not done anything at all?
Am I a good enough person/student/daughter friend?

I wonder if anyone else replays these tapes in their head.
Something tells me I'm not the only one.

I went into my room today- my messy, whirlwind, chaotic room- and realized how much junk stuff I have.  Stuff that other people could actually need or use.  Last summer I lived off 1 pair of jeans, 2 pairs of shorts, 7 t-shirts, and a whole lot of grace.  What happened to that?

So I'm sorting through my stuff and giving a lot of it away.
I am also taking a long, hard look at my priorities.

Why?

Because what I have and what I do
don't even come close to making me who I am.

And when I realize that, really realize it- that's the place where I don't have to be anything else but myself.  I don't have to do more, or have more, or be more.  Not faster or smarter.  Not more talkative or more quiet.  Not taller or prettier.  Not a better writer.  Not more capable, more adaptable, more anything.

That place is where I am His.

And that's where my heart was made to rest.

Take away everything you have
everything you do
and everything earthly that could possibly make you valuable-

and your worth stays exactly the same.

Am I enough?

dear friend,
the answer is yes.